Ever wondered why Malaysian drivers behave the way they do? I have and until I found this guide I was totally in the dark. But now I see the light. Study these rules and be a REAL Malaysian driver.
Malaysian road rules
A guide for expatriate drivers in Malaysia
Since arriving in Malaysia in 1997, I have tried on many occasions to buy a copy of the Malaysian road rules, but have come to the conclusion that no such publication exists (or if it does, it has been out of print for years). Therefore after carefully observing the driving habits of Malaysian drivers, I believe I have at last worked out the rules of the road in Malaysia. For the benefit of other expatriates living in Malaysia, and the 50% of local drivers who acquired their driving licences without taking a driving test, I am pleased to share my knowledge below:
Q: What is the most important rule of the road in Malaysia?
A: The most important rule is that you must arrive at your destination ahead of the car in front of you. This is the sacrosanct rule of driving in Malaysia. All other rules are subservient to this rule.
Q: What side of the road should you drive on in Malaysia?
A: 99.7% of cars drive on the left hand side, 0.2% on the right hand side, and 0.1% drive in reverse (be on the look out for drivers reversing at high speed in the left hand lane of freeways, having just missed their exit). Therefore on the basis of 'majority rules', it is recommended that you drive on the left. However, be aware that only 90% of motorcyclists travel on the left hand side - the other 10% ride in the opposite direction or on the sidewalk. Fortunately, motorcyclists traveling in reverse are rarely seen.
Q: What are the white lines on the roads?
A: These are known as lane markers and were used by the British in the colonial days to help them drive straight after consuming their gin and tonics. Today their purpose is mainly decorative, although a double white line is used to indicate a place that is popular to overtake.
Q: When can I use the emergency lane?
A: You can use the emergency lane for any emergency, e.g. you are late for work, you left the toaster plugged in at home, you are bursting to go to the toilet, you have a toothache or you have just dropped a hot latte in your lap. As it is an emergency, you may drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.
Q: Do traffic lights have the same meaning as in other countries?
A: Not quite. Green is the same – that means “Go”, but amber and red are different. Amber means “Go like hell” and red means “Stop if there is traffic coming in the other direction or if there is a policeman on the corner”. Otherwise red means the same as green. Note that for buses, red lights do not take effect until five seconds after the light has changed.
Q: What does the sign “Jalan Sehala” mean?
A: This means “One Way Street” and indicates a street where the traffic is required to travel in one direction. The arrow on the sign indicates the preferred direction of the traffic flow, but is not compulsory. If the traffic is not flowing in the direction in which you wish to travel, then reversing in that direction is the best option.
Q: What does the sign “Berhenti” mean?
A: This means “Stop”, and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.
Q: What does the sign “Beri Laluan” mean?
A: This means “Give Way”, and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.
Q: What does the sign “Dilarang Masuk” mean?
A: This means “No Entry”. However, when used on exit ramps in multi-storey car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is: “Short cut to the next level up”.
Q: What does the sign “Pandu Cermat” mean?
A: This means “Drive Smartly”, and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you. If you can see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.
Q: What is the speed limit in Malaysia?
A: The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.
Q: So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers, 60, 80 and 110?
A: This is the amount of the ‘on-the-spot’ fine (in ringgits - the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.
Q: Where do you pay the ‘on-the-spot’ fine?
A: As the name suggests, you pay it ‘on-the-spot’ to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will hand to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the fine on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.
Q: But isn’t this a bribe?
A: Oh pleeease, go and wash your mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write, envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and maybe then you will wish you had paid ‘on-the-spot’.
Q: But what if I haven’t broken any road rules?
A: It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are: (a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch; (b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station; (c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police welfare fund; or (d) you are driving an expensive car which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.
Q: Does my car require a roadworthy certificate before I can drive it in Malaysia?
A: No, roadworthy certificates are not required in Malaysia. However there are certain other statutory requirements that must be fulfilled before your car can be driven in Malaysia. Firstly, you must ensure that your windscreen is at least 50% obscured with English football club decals, golf club membership stickers or condo parking permits. Secondly, you must place a tissue box (preferably in a white lace cover) on the back shelf of your car under the rear window. Thirdly, you must hang as many CDs or plastic ornaments from your rear vision mirror as it will support. Finally, you must place a Garfield doll with suction caps on one of your windows. Your car will then be ready to drive on Malaysian roads.
Q: What does a single yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means parking is permitted.
Q: What does a double yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means double parking is permitted.
Q: What does a yellow box with a diagonal grid of yellow lines painted on the road at a junction mean?
A: Contrary to the understanding of some local drivers, this does not mean that diagonal parking is permitted. It indicates a junction that is grid-locked at peak hours.
Q: Can I use my mobile phone whilst driving in Malaysia?
A: No problem at all, but it should be noted that if you wish to use the rear-vision mirror to put on your lipstick or trim your eyebrows at the same time as you are using a mobile phone in the other hand, you should ensure that you keep an elbow free to steer the car. Alternatively, you may place a toddler on your lap and have the child steer the car whilst you are carrying out these other essential tasks.
Q: Is it necessary to use indicator lights in Malaysia?
A: These blinking orange lights are commonly used by newly arrived expatriate drivers to indicate they are about to change lanes. This provides a useful signal to local drivers to close up any gaps to prevent the expatriate driver from changing lanes. Therefore it is recommended that expatriate drivers adopt the local practice of avoiding all use of indicator lights. However, it is sometimes useful to turn on your left hand indicator if you want to merge right, because this confuses other drivers enabling you to take advantage of an unprotected gap in the traffic.
Q: Why do some local drivers turn on their left hand indicator and then turn right, or turn on their right hand indicator and then turn left?
A: This is one of the unsolved mysteries of driving in Malaysia.
All credit for this article belongs to David Astley. Check out his site here http://www.xyzasia.com/
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
interesting facts about Chuck Norris
apparently if you try to google Chuck Norris you'll get this:
so i'm doing all of ya'll a huge favor by letting you in on these important chuck norris facts.
if you still don't know who Chuck Norris is after this, i'm won't be responsible for whatever happens to you!
* There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
* Chuck Norris has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.
* As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the wheelchair.
* Chuck Norris once looked at a black hole, which caused it to turn into a white dwarf from pure terror.
* The Earth's rotation was an equal-but-opposite reaction to Chuck Norris's first kick.
* Chuck Norris drinks a gallon of milk and eats a teaspoon of cinnamon and 50 eggs everyday, just for fun.
* Chuck Norris is more certain than death or taxes.
* Texas is called "The Lone Star State" because Texans know that compared to Chuck Norris, their other celebrities just don't measure up.
* Chuck Norris is the "I" in "team."
* Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
* When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame.
* Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
* Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
* Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
* When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
* If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
* Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
* Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
* Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
* Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
* Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass at night.
* Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
* Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Chuck Norris is the only one who can defeat Chuck Norris - he can run around the world and roundhouse kick himself in the head.
* Chuck Norris' hand can beat a Royal Flush.
* Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
* A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
* Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
* Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
* The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
* Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
* In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
* Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
* Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* When an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
* Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
* It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
* Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
* Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
* Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
* In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
* Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
* Chuck Norris' infamous roundhouse kick is our first and only line of defense vs. an asteroid impact on earth.
* Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
* Chuck Norris can win Scrabble even when the only letters he has left are Q, X and Z.
* Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
* There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
* On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000.
* Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
* Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
* A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
* Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
* Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
* Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
* The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
* With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
* Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
* "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
* Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
* TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
* In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
* Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
* Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
* Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Disclaimer
Taken from various sources on the internet - original authors unknown.
so i'm doing all of ya'll a huge favor by letting you in on these important chuck norris facts.
if you still don't know who Chuck Norris is after this, i'm won't be responsible for whatever happens to you!
* There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
* Chuck Norris has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.
* As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the wheelchair.
* Chuck Norris once looked at a black hole, which caused it to turn into a white dwarf from pure terror.
* The Earth's rotation was an equal-but-opposite reaction to Chuck Norris's first kick.
* Chuck Norris drinks a gallon of milk and eats a teaspoon of cinnamon and 50 eggs everyday, just for fun.
* Chuck Norris is more certain than death or taxes.
* Texas is called "The Lone Star State" because Texans know that compared to Chuck Norris, their other celebrities just don't measure up.
* Chuck Norris is the "I" in "team."
* Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
* When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame.
* Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
* Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
* Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
* When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
* If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
* Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
* Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
* Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
* Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
* Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass at night.
* Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
* Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Chuck Norris is the only one who can defeat Chuck Norris - he can run around the world and roundhouse kick himself in the head.
* Chuck Norris' hand can beat a Royal Flush.
* Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
* A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
* Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
* Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
* The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
* Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
* In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
* Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
* Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* When an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
* Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
* It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
* Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
* Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
* Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
* In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
* Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
* Chuck Norris' infamous roundhouse kick is our first and only line of defense vs. an asteroid impact on earth.
* Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
* Chuck Norris can win Scrabble even when the only letters he has left are Q, X and Z.
* Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
* There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
* On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000.
* Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
* Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
* A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
* Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
* Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
* Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
* The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
* With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
* Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
* "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
* Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
* TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
* In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
* Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
* Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
* Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Disclaimer
Taken from various sources on the internet - original authors unknown.
Friday, October 2, 2009
more ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage!
During these difficult times, we should all be concerned with rising fuel cost and our fuel consumption becomes a serious issue. This and the increasing awareness of the environmental impact our habits have on our home planet.
In the past I've written about easy ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage (click this link to view my article), but for those of you who felt that those methods outlined didn't have the desired level of effectiveness, here is yet another guide on how to save fuel. These additional tips for fuel saving will definitely benefit you and the environment.
1. eat less, go on a diet, get some exercise and lose some weight. I'm super featherlite, which makes me very good for the environment. Because I don't burn much petrol pulling my weight around.
And if you didn’t already know, losing weight is the answer the all the world’s problems. You want better fuel efficiency? You want to help the environment? Want to stop global warming? Want to put an end to terrorism? Lose weight.
2. Don’t give fat people rides in your car. Fat people should walk and lose some weight. if you want to get in my car, you are required to weigh below 60kg. And my baggage limit is 1 person (not including myself - the driver). Because of this restriction, therefore priority is given to hot chicks.
3. Further to the point above, don't waste petrol giving other guys rides, unless you want something from them or you're that other type of guy. guys are independent and resourceful, they'll manage without your help. For girls reading this, just replace the word "guy" with "girl" and the last sentence which says "are independent and resourceful, they'll manage without your help" with "can just call any guy they know to come pick them up". that is only if they fulfil the requirement in the point above. Girls are welcome to use this method (patent pending) to determine their hotness rating by calculating their percentage of successful attempts.
4. Do not use wide, low profile sport tyres because they have better contact with the road which causes more friction. Sure it helps with the cornering and stopping, but the increased friction will make your fuel consumption go up. Instead, use narrow tyres. Like those on a bicycle. and avoid situations that call for stopping fast and hard cornering.
5. Set the clock in your car slower. When your brain thinks that you have plenty more time to make your appointment, you will find yourself driving at a slower, more leisurely speed. Hey, if it works for getting people to rush, it’ll work for getting people to slow down as well.
6. Wash your car often. and remember to wax (the car). you want to keep your car's surface as smooth as possible to ensure low wind resistance. but don' waste water. wash the car with only a bucket of water and nothing more. and use environmentally friendly detergents.
7. Don’t brake to slow down. Braking to slow down is a waste of energy. The car will actually stop on its own (eventually). You can save a lot of petrol by coasting to every stop. For example, when you see a junction or a red light up ahead, just release the accelerator, shift to neutral and let the car coast. If you find that you have overshot your target stop spot it means you have used too way much petrol. If you have come to a stop too early it means you released the accelerator too early, better luck next time. Don’t bother moving closer to the lights because that’s just a waste of fuel. When you have reached the stop spot you can use the brakes to prevent against unwanted movements.
8. Don’t brake and accelerate over speed bumps. Braking before each bump means that the precious energy that was used for moving your vehicle is wasted. After the bump you accelerate to get back up to speed, fighting against inertia. If you refer to an earlier article (link) you will know that speed bumps are (unfortunately) an unavoidable part of my life. However that has given me invaluable experience and opportunities to carry out studies on this problem. I therefore declare myself an expert in this field.
The correct way to go over speed bumps is to keep the car at 15km/h. Going above that causes the ride to be very uncomfortable and going below that doesn’t give the car enough momentum to go over the nastier bumps. So just keep the car at that speed until you have gone over the very LAST bump on that stretch of road. You can ignore any sign posts that imply speed limits of 40 or 50kmh because there’s no way you are going over any speed bumps at that speed.
9. Don't drive your car. take the bus or other forms of public transportation that is available in your area. Malaysian's are excluded because they won't know what public transportation means since it is almost non-existant in most parts of Malaysia. Not driving your car will GUARANTEE that your car's fuel consumption will be VERY low. about as low as the rate of evaporation of the petrol in your tank.
10. Alternative to the point above, you can drive someone else's car and leave your car at home. Technically, that means that the petrol consumption of your car would also be VERY low.
Disclaimer
The author does not intend to offend any fat people and does not imply that anyone who weighs above 60kg is fat. While they are quite certainly effective in reducing fuel consumption, the author is not responsible for any negative side effects from following the guidelines above.
In the past I've written about easy ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage (click this link to view my article), but for those of you who felt that those methods outlined didn't have the desired level of effectiveness, here is yet another guide on how to save fuel. These additional tips for fuel saving will definitely benefit you and the environment.
1. eat less, go on a diet, get some exercise and lose some weight. I'm super featherlite, which makes me very good for the environment. Because I don't burn much petrol pulling my weight around.
And if you didn’t already know, losing weight is the answer the all the world’s problems. You want better fuel efficiency? You want to help the environment? Want to stop global warming? Want to put an end to terrorism? Lose weight.
2. Don’t give fat people rides in your car. Fat people should walk and lose some weight. if you want to get in my car, you are required to weigh below 60kg. And my baggage limit is 1 person (not including myself - the driver). Because of this restriction, therefore priority is given to hot chicks.
3. Further to the point above, don't waste petrol giving other guys rides, unless you want something from them or you're that other type of guy. guys are independent and resourceful, they'll manage without your help. For girls reading this, just replace the word "guy" with "girl" and the last sentence which says "are independent and resourceful, they'll manage without your help" with "can just call any guy they know to come pick them up". that is only if they fulfil the requirement in the point above. Girls are welcome to use this method (patent pending) to determine their hotness rating by calculating their percentage of successful attempts.
4. Do not use wide, low profile sport tyres because they have better contact with the road which causes more friction. Sure it helps with the cornering and stopping, but the increased friction will make your fuel consumption go up. Instead, use narrow tyres. Like those on a bicycle. and avoid situations that call for stopping fast and hard cornering.
5. Set the clock in your car slower. When your brain thinks that you have plenty more time to make your appointment, you will find yourself driving at a slower, more leisurely speed. Hey, if it works for getting people to rush, it’ll work for getting people to slow down as well.
6. Wash your car often. and remember to wax (the car). you want to keep your car's surface as smooth as possible to ensure low wind resistance. but don' waste water. wash the car with only a bucket of water and nothing more. and use environmentally friendly detergents.
7. Don’t brake to slow down. Braking to slow down is a waste of energy. The car will actually stop on its own (eventually). You can save a lot of petrol by coasting to every stop. For example, when you see a junction or a red light up ahead, just release the accelerator, shift to neutral and let the car coast. If you find that you have overshot your target stop spot it means you have used too way much petrol. If you have come to a stop too early it means you released the accelerator too early, better luck next time. Don’t bother moving closer to the lights because that’s just a waste of fuel. When you have reached the stop spot you can use the brakes to prevent against unwanted movements.
8. Don’t brake and accelerate over speed bumps. Braking before each bump means that the precious energy that was used for moving your vehicle is wasted. After the bump you accelerate to get back up to speed, fighting against inertia. If you refer to an earlier article (link) you will know that speed bumps are (unfortunately) an unavoidable part of my life. However that has given me invaluable experience and opportunities to carry out studies on this problem. I therefore declare myself an expert in this field.
The correct way to go over speed bumps is to keep the car at 15km/h. Going above that causes the ride to be very uncomfortable and going below that doesn’t give the car enough momentum to go over the nastier bumps. So just keep the car at that speed until you have gone over the very LAST bump on that stretch of road. You can ignore any sign posts that imply speed limits of 40 or 50kmh because there’s no way you are going over any speed bumps at that speed.
9. Don't drive your car. take the bus or other forms of public transportation that is available in your area. Malaysian's are excluded because they won't know what public transportation means since it is almost non-existant in most parts of Malaysia. Not driving your car will GUARANTEE that your car's fuel consumption will be VERY low. about as low as the rate of evaporation of the petrol in your tank.
10. Alternative to the point above, you can drive someone else's car and leave your car at home. Technically, that means that the petrol consumption of your car would also be VERY low.
Disclaimer
The author does not intend to offend any fat people and does not imply that anyone who weighs above 60kg is fat. While they are quite certainly effective in reducing fuel consumption, the author is not responsible for any negative side effects from following the guidelines above.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
easy ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage! (part 2)
... continued from easy ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage! (part 1)
6. avoid the jam. sounds like a no brainer, but it does require some planning. for a lot of us, jams are a way of life. still, we should go to lengths to avoid them. save time, save money. save petrol, save money. save petrol, save the planet. to avoid the jam you either pay the toll or travel after the off-peak hours. i do both. tolls are expensive, but so is burning up petrol and going nowhere. i've said before, crude oil is very limited.
7. keep your car well maintained. stick to scheduled maintenance intervals and use a good engine oil. i'm no expert but, most probably if your engine oil hasn't been changed for so long that it has become as thick as high temperature grease, you won't be getting good mileage. i'm just guessing.
8. don't always fill the tank full. I always fill the tank half full each time. hey, every bit lighter your car gets, the less weight it needs to pull, the lower the petrol consumption.
one day i'll try some of those fuel saving things. i've read about magnetic thingies that go around the fuel lines, fuel catalysts that you install, and boosters or sorts. when i do i'll share my experience. i'm quite curious about the pivot spark kit. anybody want to give me some free testers? :-)
if you have any experience with modifications that improved fuel efficiency, i'm interested to hear your comments!
update
in Malaysia we were recently forced fed RON95 petrol. There are mixed responses to this but i think generally it gives the same or better mileage. i'm still getting about the same 10-11km per litre.
6. avoid the jam. sounds like a no brainer, but it does require some planning. for a lot of us, jams are a way of life. still, we should go to lengths to avoid them. save time, save money. save petrol, save money. save petrol, save the planet. to avoid the jam you either pay the toll or travel after the off-peak hours. i do both. tolls are expensive, but so is burning up petrol and going nowhere. i've said before, crude oil is very limited.
7. keep your car well maintained. stick to scheduled maintenance intervals and use a good engine oil. i'm no expert but, most probably if your engine oil hasn't been changed for so long that it has become as thick as high temperature grease, you won't be getting good mileage. i'm just guessing.
8. don't always fill the tank full. I always fill the tank half full each time. hey, every bit lighter your car gets, the less weight it needs to pull, the lower the petrol consumption.
one day i'll try some of those fuel saving things. i've read about magnetic thingies that go around the fuel lines, fuel catalysts that you install, and boosters or sorts. when i do i'll share my experience. i'm quite curious about the pivot spark kit. anybody want to give me some free testers? :-)
if you have any experience with modifications that improved fuel efficiency, i'm interested to hear your comments!
update
in Malaysia we were recently forced fed RON95 petrol. There are mixed responses to this but i think generally it gives the same or better mileage. i'm still getting about the same 10-11km per litre.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
easy ways to achieve low petrol consumption and better mileage! (part 1)
i don't mean to brag but, I usually get pretty good mileage from the cars that I drive.
I'm not really sure what it is but it's probably a gift or a special mutant ability of some sort. ok, yeah i'm bragging!
I never really thought much about it until a friend of mine told me about his experience driving the same car I'm currently driving.
I own a Hyundai Getz 1.3 auto which I bought about 5 years ago. no major modifications except a k&n drop in air filter, which i've used since day 1, a pivot volt stabilizer with earthing kit recommended by a friend and a lightweight cam pulley. no special spark plugs or cables, no ECU tuning, no fuel saving gadget or fancy gizmo. just the standard 14-inch rims and tyres (japan made dunlops - really great tyres).
my friend gets only about 280km on a full tank and I've been told by a couple of people driving many different auto makes that they get between 350km and 400km per full tank. these aren't people driving those super fuel efficient Honda city's or toyota's. it's other cars. I guess you could call them normal cars.
I consistently get about 11km per liter of petrol which is about 450km - 480km per full tank of petrol (40-45 litre).
I don't do any crazy stuff or use extreme techniques. I don't turn my engine off whenever I stop. I don't turn off my radio, aircond or lights to reduce the loading on my alternator.
In fact, I always drive with the aircond on. I don't understand how anyone can drive around without their aircond on. not even early in the morning or at night. whenever I see people driving around with one arm
hanging outside their window I think 2 things. they are either retarded or their aircond is broken. observing how they drive eventually answers my question. most of them are retarded.
well, to be fair I normally manage to fit 45 litres into that tank. it's a small car with a surprisingly large tank. and I usually drive until the low petrol warning light has been on for so long that it starts burning the static image to the back of my skull.
when i notice the occasional passenger in my car getting worried and showing symptoms of imminent anxiety attacks I just put them at ease by telling them it's ok, my car doesn't need petrol to continue running. just the smell or the fumes left behind by the petrol is enough. for quite a long distance, in fact. I've tried.
anyway back on topic. I've got a couple of theories why my petrol consumption is lower than others. i would like to share this information with everyone else with hopes that it can help everyone reduce petrol usage and produce less CO2 and pollution. save the planet, people! (yes, i'm still in my green revolution phase)
here they are in no particular sequence.
1. I'm a pretty steady driver, if I may say so myself. I very rarely do sudden overtaking manoeuvres. I must admit that getting provoked to do it is a very common occurence. it is a daily test of patience because of the driver who plods along the freeway at 40kmh in on the fast lane, the typical Malaysian driver who merges blindly into your lane (totally oblivious to their surroundings as though they were in some sort of hypnotic trance). The worst thing is that they don't even bother to follow the speed of the traffic they merge into and force the drivers who have the right of way to brake hard! and speedbumps, man don't get me started on speedbumps! (read my earlier post about speed bumps)
anyway cruising at constant speed is guaranteed to get you good mileage. stopping and accelerating is bad. those who have those fancy news cars with the high tech instrument panels should have an instrument that shows the fuel consumption per km or mile. practicing good driving habits is key!
2. I drive for greater comfort, not greater speed. I don't like sudden acceleration and braking. I don't do high G force manuevers. let me clarify that I don't drive slow. I just don't see the smarts in doing a 0-60 under 5 seconds each time the red light turns green. I know, my car couldn't do it anyway. Go on, rub it in.
Increase speed gradually and allow the car to gain momentum. there is also less strain on the car therefore lower maintenance cost.
3. I like to coast to a stop. i think it is moronic to continue speeding towards the red light. it's not like you are trying to get less penalty points or someting. you're gonna have to stop anyway and you'll just end up using more brakes.
when coasting to a stop I like to shift to neutral. some people may cry out abuse and accuse me of doing unforgivable damage to my car but it doesn't seem to have caused me any problems in all the years I've done it. heck if I could do it I would turn my engine off when coasting to a stop but my steering and brakes won't work. anyway my aircond must NEVER be off.
4. i make sure my tyres are always properly inflated. Remember those times when cycling was your only means of transport? i'm sure you noticed how much harder it was to cycle when the tires were flat. you can't really tell when driving a car because it doesn't use more of your energy to step on the gas pedal when the tire pressure is low. this so important yet so often overlooked. for me, I have these neat little tyre valve caps that indicate yellow when the tyre pressure is low and red when I should really really do something about the tire pressure. its pretty cool. i don't have to wonder whether my tires are a little under, or when was the last time i pumped them because i can just look at the valve caps and know that my tyre pressure is alright. I highly recommend it to everyone!
5. My aircond temperature is never set to max. at the most it is on 3/4 to the max. normally its only at about 1/4 coolness. feels comfortable enough for me. sure as hell beats driving without aircond and with the window down. i'm not sure exactly how much can be saved but I do know the aircond uses up precious horsepower which your car automatically compensates for by increasing the engine RPM. and here's a tip - vkool. can't do without it. under our sun, going without it is insanity. by keeping heat out your aircond does a bit less work.
to be continued...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
speed bumps are stupid like the people who approve them
a few years ago a lot of bumps suddenly began appearing on the main road that runs through my suburb.
On that short 1.5 kilometer stretch 10 bumps grew. its ridiculous. it feels like i have to brake and slow down every 100 meters.
i got to thinking (yes, i do that sometimes) is making the drive bumpy and uncomfortable the best way to make people drive properly?
well, i thought, the existing road conditions with all the potholes and bad patches are already doing a fine job at that. so why spend money to make it that way?
does anyone wonder why our money is being spent like this?
here's a thought - instead of spending our hard-earned tax money on making our roads bumpy, why not spend it making our bumpy roads smooth? that sounds like a really good idea to me (yeah, sometimes i do get some of those).
is making roads bumpy and uncomfortable the only way to make drivers drive safely?
why, is it because some drivers are too retarded to know that it is dangerous to speed on roads where kids could suddenly dash across the street? or is it because there are parents who would let their kids who don't know how to cross the road out on their own? (i wonder which is actually worse?)
why, is it because some drivers are too retarded to know that it is dangerous to speed on roads where kids could suddenly dash across the street? or is it because there are parents who would let their kids who don't know how to cross the road out on their own? (i wonder which is actually worse?)
i don't think that the braking and accelerating over all those the bumps everyday is doing my car any good.
it pains me because I actually take pretty good care of my car. I admit I don't wash it as often as I should but it's still a pretty well mantained car.
I feel sadness and pity for my car each time I go down that road.
my brakes are getting worn and my suspension are getting spongy. my new suspension. I just changed them beginning of this year. i tell you, its all that unnecessary wear and tear.
I feel sadness and pity for my car each time I go down that road.
my brakes are getting worn and my suspension are getting spongy. my new suspension. I just changed them beginning of this year. i tell you, its all that unnecessary wear and tear.
so besides spending our money to make our roads less driveable, we need to spend even more on car maintenance and repairs. that doesn't sound right.
and what about the increased petrol consumption from the constant stopping and accelerating? you know, a lot more petrol is used when accelerating as compared to cruising at constant speed. petrol isn't cheap and it isn't getting cheaper. plus crude oil is a very limited resource.
not only that, the more petrol we burn the more pollution we create. we're talking about greenhouse gasses, people. CO2. noticed the weather's been super hot lately? hotter than it used to be?
and I'll bet those houses that are located so strategically in front of those bumps started getting a whole lot dustier too. lots of brake dust and exhaust soot for the residents to inhale. nothing beats the great feeling of breathing in the cool morning air. except the morning air isn't that cool any more and those school buses and cars are kicking up plenty of dust as they slow down before spewing out nice healthy doses of exhaust as they rev up their engines loudly over those bumps. nice. a great way to start the day. must be good for people with asthma because if it hasn't already killed them, it would've made them stronger.
and what about the increased petrol consumption from the constant stopping and accelerating? you know, a lot more petrol is used when accelerating as compared to cruising at constant speed. petrol isn't cheap and it isn't getting cheaper. plus crude oil is a very limited resource.
not only that, the more petrol we burn the more pollution we create. we're talking about greenhouse gasses, people. CO2. noticed the weather's been super hot lately? hotter than it used to be?
and I'll bet those houses that are located so strategically in front of those bumps started getting a whole lot dustier too. lots of brake dust and exhaust soot for the residents to inhale. nothing beats the great feeling of breathing in the cool morning air. except the morning air isn't that cool any more and those school buses and cars are kicking up plenty of dust as they slow down before spewing out nice healthy doses of exhaust as they rev up their engines loudly over those bumps. nice. a great way to start the day. must be good for people with asthma because if it hasn't already killed them, it would've made them stronger.
so... they're extremely inefficient, they're bad for our cars and bad for the environment. I'll even say that they are actually dangerous. Our infamous Malaysian motorcyclists will try to avoid the bumps by veering off the side of the road. That's dangerous for pedestrians. Also, if those motorcyclists were doing their superman thing and hit one of those bumps while dong 100km/h they could get seriously injured - which is not nice, because Mat Rempits are a national heritage.
for those who are asking, "what is this "mat rempit" he speaks of?", an excellent definition of this term can be found here: Mat Rempit - Uncyclopedia
for those who are asking, "what is this "mat rempit" he speaks of?", an excellent definition of this term can be found here: Mat Rempit - Uncyclopedia
And what if there was a real emergency? What if my house was on fire but the fire trucks could only drive at 15km/h because of those (**profanity removed**) bumps which caused them to arrive in time only to see my house reduced to ashes and rubble?
If we really have to spend money to get some sense into those moron drivers I offer some suggestions: policeman with radar gun. speed camera. strict penalties. actual law enforcement. make them wear electrified collars that would zap them if they exceeded the speed limit. whatever it is, it should be some kind of active enforcement. come on people, we won't get anywhere by being lazy!
I know what some of you are thinking. those bumps are there to save innocent lives from those morons who aren't civil enough to drive safely through housing estates.
ok, if the moron kills himself because of his own irresponsible driving I would call that justice. I'd say the world is safer with one less moron on our roads.
the tragedy is when the moron takes an innocent life. that would be very sad. really. however, out of this tragedy the moron gets a life sentence or his drivers license is banned for life, thus making our world a safer place.
Besides, why should I be paying? My driving is perfectly fine. Its the morons who should pay!
So i guess i won't be getting my lamborghini anytime soon (yeah right!). at least not until those stupid speed bumps are removed.
First!
i figured it would be nice to have an avenue for flushing out my incoherent rants.
every now and then whenever i have a thought or idea (why the surprised look, sometimes I can have thoughts) I would post it here.
people in the real world aren't paying any attention to my great ideas so i need to post them on the internet so that by a long shot some random webcrawler would stumble upon this. hopefully there are others out there who share my views and would be kind enough to digg this so others will also know the truth about the meaning of life.
ok, the truth is, i don't know any real people from the real world (you know, the world outside the matrix, where everyone is just a naked slimy battery whose sole purpose is to generate power for some giant supercomputer). which is why i resort to this. hey, don't pretend like you don't know what i'm talking about. if you found this blog then you fit into the same profile as me! but that's okay because life is better in here anyway!
every now and then whenever i have a thought or idea (why the surprised look, sometimes I can have thoughts) I would post it here.
people in the real world aren't paying any attention to my great ideas so i need to post them on the internet so that by a long shot some random webcrawler would stumble upon this. hopefully there are others out there who share my views and would be kind enough to digg this so others will also know the truth about the meaning of life.
ok, the truth is, i don't know any real people from the real world (you know, the world outside the matrix, where everyone is just a naked slimy battery whose sole purpose is to generate power for some giant supercomputer). which is why i resort to this. hey, don't pretend like you don't know what i'm talking about. if you found this blog then you fit into the same profile as me! but that's okay because life is better in here anyway!
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